My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
