I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize