I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He shit in the fireplace
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
