Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So much rum. So many feels.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
