She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
