she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
