she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
