what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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