Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
