the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
