its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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