Soap is not a condiment
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
