Have you finally orgasmed yet?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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