he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
