Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you win again, gameday.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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