i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize