I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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