you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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