Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
