Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
