No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
