I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
