thus making me awesome and them whores
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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