once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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