You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
