so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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