I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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