My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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