He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
