So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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