Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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