Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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