Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
