3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
