Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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