He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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