When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize