I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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