i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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