how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
