How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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