yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
