Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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