Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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