If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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