Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
