now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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