You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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