she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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