She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
