I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
