So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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