thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
