sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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