A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
