I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize