im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
