I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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