i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
