I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
