How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do vagina's smell?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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