so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize