and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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