You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
