It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
