Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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