Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
