Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
