My nipple is on Facebook.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
