i don't like sucking hair
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
