You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
