he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
