Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
