The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
