that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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