just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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