Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
