if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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