Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
