What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
