How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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