I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
