Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
