is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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