Your face is a jimmy john
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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