Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
