you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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