Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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