week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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